The end of a chapter

How I felt at the end of the trip and how I thought I would feel were not the same. Maybe it hasn't fully hit me that I may not see some of these people ever again and those I will see again, it won't be the same. I don't know if we'll really be friends when we get back or if we'll just nod at each other as the only form of acknowledging our time together. I haven't given it to much thought to be honest. Normally I would but I think that so many things in my life haven't gone as planned that I've stopped imagining how things will go. I'm tired of unnecessary pain that I inflict upon myself. I know this isn't what is expected as a wrap up for the trip but the group made the trip. Trying to imagine the trip without Evan or either of the Jakes is impossible. There are moments when the knowledge that I probably won't see Jake Hanley again is just another fact of life, like the grass is green and the sky is blue. But there are other moments when it's a horribly sad thought because he is so different from the world, and I am so much apart of it when I know I shouldn't be. This is the problem with being home and having nothing to do, I think too much. Maybe I should have done my wrap up while there with everyone still; maybe then I would be more focused on Scotland and her people.

I loved the land. The rolling hills, the green grass, the water were all amazing. I understand a little the pull the land had for Chris in Sunset song. It's the same Michigan has for me. On the drive home from the airport I was just happy to see all our trees again and the familiar landscape. I can't honestly imagine living anywhere except for Michigan. It's how she felt about Scotland and the mearns. I guess that's more in line with what's expected, but I so rarely do what's exactly expected of me that I just don't know if I can continue in that line of thinking. I love weird moods, they produce some of the most bizarre things.

There are still things that happened on the trip that I may never understand. Things happen for a reason I've been told many a times but I just wish I could know the reasons. Can a person you only know for 3.5 weeks change you? I don't know, and if they do, would you be able to trace the change back to them? Would you know they are the reason you aren't the same anymore? This is considerable out of line with what's excepted and I'm enjoying it a little. Cartrite may read this and think I'm on something but I'm not. The most interesting things come when we're sober and honest.

I'll end now because I don't know how much longer I can write vaguely without giving the whole thing away and maybe I have given it all away without knowing it. People are always surprising with what they notice. I enjoyed the trip, the land, and the people. I also plan to go back someday because it may be my favorite place I've visited over seas yet. Which means it beats Frace, Italy, and Spain. And thus the chapter of my trip ends.

EDIT:

I just thought of this while writing my paper. I would put into my paper but it doesn't fit. For Glasgow being the city in Scotland with the highest crime rate, no one spoke ill of the city. Multiple times people told us that we should have gone to Glasgow, it was a shame we weren't going there, and was worth the trip.